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This blog is about the intersection of wife, mother, and employee.

Set boundaries. Find balance. Experience joy. Explore new technology.

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Small Circle in Hell

A working mother comes home to chaos. 

The father of her children arrested.  Her two children, one in a cage covered in feces and another one half dressed outside in sub 40 degree weather.

I don't have enough facts to form an opinion yet, but to the caregiver who allowed themselves to indulge in mind altering substances to be considered "in a stupor"...buddy I can only hope there is a special circle in Hell with your name on it.


Ken Miller, The Associated Press found on


OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A Tulsa man was arrested after police found his 18-month-old daughter locked in a metal dog cage, his naked 4-year old daughter outside on a cold afternoon and him asleep in a drug or alcohol “induced stupor,” police said Monday.

A neighbor called police after finding the older child outside the family’s home and getting no response when he knocked on the door around 4 p.m. Sunday, as temperatures dropped to the low 40s. Officers’ knocks also went unanswered, “then one of the officers looked inside and saw a small child in a dog cage,” Tulsa police spokesman Officer Leland Ashley said.

After forcing their way inside, police discovered the toddler was covered in feces and that a 3-year-old child was asleep in another room. Their father was found asleep on a bed, “in an alcohol- or narcotics-induced stupor,” Ashley said.

The three children were placed into the custody of the Department of Human Services, and the father was arrested on a child neglect complaint. The Associated Press is not naming the father so to protect the identity of the children, who showed no sign of physical injury, Ashley said.

Their mother had been at work and arrived as officers were preparing to leave the scene. She was not arrested and her name was not released, Ashley said.

“A citizen was concerned, he heard a small child crying outside for about 20 minutes. He went outside to investigate and found the 4-year-old child,” he said. “You have to give credit to that neighbor who acted and did not ignore the situation.”

Messages left for the department and the Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office went unreturned Monday, a federal holiday.


Presidential Debate and Working Women

I am not particularly political.  As a registered Independent, I struggle with the way the American Political Machine works.  There may not be a better solution out there in the world, but the rhetoric and name-calling really does not afford me the opportunity to be proud of either candidate and say "Yes, I want that person to be my representative to the world."  That said, I am unwaveringly grateful to the men and women who have and continue to sacrifice to protect the American way of life.  Thank you to all of you who serve.  You ensure my right to have this opinion.

In last night's debate, the fourth question of the night came from a polished young woman who asked what the candidates would do about gender inequalities in the workplace.

Obama spoke about his mother and grandmother and their struggles to be seen as equal to their male colleagues.

"I was raised by a single mom who had put herself through school while looking after two kids, and she worked hard and made a lot of sacrifices to make sure we had everything we needed," he said. "My grandmother ... hit the glass ceiling: she trained people who would end up becoming her bosses during the course of her career. She didn’t complain, that’s not what you did in that generation. And this is one of the reason that the first bill I signed was something called the Lily Ledbetter bill."

Here is the part I don't understand....

"We fixed that -- and that's an example of the kind of advocacy we need because women are increasingly the breadwinners in the family," Obama said. "This is not just a women’s issue, this is a family issue, a middle-class issue and that’s why we've got to fight for it."

When have gender inequality in the workplace and equal wages have been achieved?  How did I miss that revolution?  Great so the National Women's Law Center (champions of laws and policies that work for women and families) can close up shop and we can forget about that silly Paycheck Fairness Act?  I don't think so.

I spend a great deal of my personal time advocating for working women.  I am fortunate to work for a company that understands and supports this passion.  I am a Sr. Director of Competitive Intelligence and have been afforded great opportunity to "sit at the table" with key decision makers. In these meetings, especially in the past few years, I have never had the experience of feeling like a woman at the table.  I am just a participant.

EMC invests heavily in college hire programs and I can see that the population coming into the company is a healthy mix of intelligent minds of many races and both genders.  I delighted that am able to be a part of nurturing some of those minds in my day to day job.  It is one of my favorite things about working in a technology company. 

EMC sponsors many conferences such as the Simmons Women's Leadership Conference in Boston, MA and is a member of National Center for Women in Technology.

I am sorry to break it to both candidates that the work on fair pay and gender equality in the country is NOT done.

There is a meme about Governor Romney's "binders full of women."  To me, that was not the most offensive part of his comments.  When asked about equal pay he talked about allowing flexible work schedules for his female staff.  Thanks Governor Romney, because only women have families.....

Despite the way this quote played out in the media "binders full of women"; I do applaud his actions to staff with diversity.

"I had the chance to pull together a cabinet and all the applications seemed to be from men ... and I said gosh, can't we find some women who are also qualified?" he said, talking about reaching out to women's groups to find qualified women for the posts, citing a study that found his administration had the most high-ranking women of all 50 states."

There is no doubt that we have all suffered in the poor economy, this statistic is about women

"In the last four years, women have lost 580,000 jobs. ... 3.5 million more women [are] now in poverty than four years ago," he said. "What we can do to help young women and women of all ages is to have an economy so strong that employers are looking for more employees."


No matter which candidate you support, please continue to drive home the importance of diversity and equality for all.


Sourcefed makes me proud (except for the swearing part).

As if I did not love SourceFed news videos already!  Lee Newton (@LeeNewtonSays) adds punch to the Wisconsin Newscaster's bullying email rebuttal.  Love these women!

As someone who had to withstand her own fair share of bullying growing up, I love that we are starting to address these issues as a society.  Calling it for what it is... HATE.

I struggle with my weight, too.  I work hard at it and it is really hurtful when people imply or outright attack my weight as if it is something that I could change if I wanted to badly enough. 

I know bullying has little to nothing to do with my actual weight.  It is about power and I refuse to give mine up....because I use mine for GOOD.


Have a great week, everyone and Rock On! Lee Newton and Jennifer Livingston.



Lilith Fair and decisions that change your life.

In 1997 I was searching.  It was a time of self discovery - that would last awhile.  (I can be a slow learner).

I was asked by a friend if I wanted to go to the Lilith Fair.  I had no idea what it was until I looked it up on the internet.  (yes we had internet in 1997)

Ashamed to admit that I debated about it. The concert was far away, it was outside, unpredictable weather and I did not know if I would like it......

I went.  It was amazing.  It actually *changed my life* to see all of these strong, creative women singing about stuff I cared a lot about.  Shortly after Lilith Fair I also went to see Liz Phair, Natalie Merchant, and Tori Amos.

Sometimes I forget stuff, even important stuff, but I will always remember that concert, that day, that sunshine, the cheap commemorative necklace I bought and feeling part of something big, strong and beautiful!  I wore that necklace A LOT.  It took me back to that day where I went to hear some music and accidentally found myself.

Who knows if that is where the seeds of my lifelong passion for womens advocacy came sure did not hurt.

Main Stage list for the 1997 Lilith Fair Concert (courtesy of wikipedia):  Can you even imagine trying to pull a list like that together today on one ticket?  P.S.  Thanks for taking me, Mike!

Main Stage artists


The concept of death in the eyes of a child

I remember distinctly what my neice said when my father passed.  She was trying to console my sister who was crying telling her that her grandfather had passed away.  My neice looked up at her and said "that is ok Mommy.  If they have phones in Florida, they must have phones in Heaven. we will just call grandpa."

this made us all laugh and cry....

Ironically, I am telling my child that his grandfather has passed at around the same age.  I prepared myself for a similar question.  My son had no childlike questions for me. 

Is he just so astute or is it that kids are maturing so fast due to all the information around them, that they just have a more worldly view?